play by years.
excuse me;

new IMG_4878

i've already told you, there's nothing much to hide.



tags;
    follow me on Twitter


    for my benefit;

    my tumblr;
    claire's;
    deb;
    juan;
    christina;
    poh;
    sophia;


    that point of time;
    Tuesday, October 31, 2006, 1:11 AM

    it's the process of getting out of it,
    that makes everything worthwhile.
    someone said that to me.
    shouldnt it be something i can live with
    and not, not being able to live without.
    being high up on someone list,
    people jus expect you to be something.
    and time and time again you dont,
    it slips down.
    and when it does,
    you got to climb up again.

    regarding a convor.
    please get this msg into your head.
    i doubt you read.




    Monday, October 30, 2006, 1:07 AM

    the only thing im lookinf forward to,
    come next week.
    he's so adorable.
    flat face,
    reminds me of. . . ha.

    you can turn in round and round
    when he's asleep.
    unlucky day,
    lets skip the start.
    86 and then i get a phone call
    which ended up me being alone at jk.
    not that bad yet.
    in order to peacefully get on a cab
    that i waited for !@&(*&#*@*#(^ minutes.
    which which almost ended me killed.
    nearly knocked down by another cab and a truck.
    Honk and Honk.
    oh fuck.
    tml will be a better day, wont it?




    Sunday, October 29, 2006, 5:36 PM

    I'm blind, I'm mute, I'm deaf.
    sometimes, somewhere.
    when i choose to be.
    keeping quiet seems like the worst
    because its all bottled inside.
    and silence is the greatest killer
    because you never know what goes
    on in someone's mind.
    maybe,
    it's better to pretend because
    i fear of the reaction,
    i will give.

    when you are in the situation you tend
    to react differently.
    so to others you might be some idert
    over there over reacting.
    its just different point of views.

    im a useless shit.
    that's what im upset about.
    couldnt it be erase just like this.
    or couldnt i just say something.
    and im so angry
    that i let tables turn whenever or whatever the situation is.
    isnt it like a plain useless piece of feather.
    when i feel like the guilty bitch
    when the actual fact is it wasnt my fault.

    my mind is always making me confuse.
    or maybe love, friendship makes
    right or wrong so hard to be define.

    and you think its nothing.




    Saturday, October 28, 2006, 4:33 PM

    BORED!!!!

    chunk me with many many vcds.
    please please please.

    never expect anything, it saves disappointment.




    Thursday, October 26, 2006, 10:32 PM

    he says he loves me
    and he gives me a lick.
    LOL!
    presenting.
    my boyfriend
    come my house so many times,
    still want action.
    he was only suppose to come up to pee.
    but we were to lazy to move.
    and he knows how bored i am at home,
    so he accompany me. how nice.
    we took advantage of the situation that my mum aint around.
    to chill & smoke.
    friends are so busy with their own life.
    meeting up in a group is so hard.
    one free one not.
    i miss audrey and sophia.
    HURRY O'S FINISH LA OIE.
    smiles.
    back to my boring routine.




    Wednesday, October 25, 2006, 9:46 PM

    i usually dont feel ouch when my phone drops,
    today was like OUCH.
    twice it slips off my hand and on the ground.
    i just got it a month.

    2nd time at vivo, i got lost.
    please! so did jilly and jerome.
    which was kind enough to help me
    get a pretty gift for my pretty lady.

    i realised i spend 300 in 4 days,
    and my last couple of bucks to cab.

    i was late for school.
    when i got in the cab,
    2 for peak, 4 for advance and 2.50.
    by the time i reach school 13 plus.
    money throw like that.

    you're the reason why.
    & for you,bay.
    mr hippo w my ugly fat fingers.
    i think its damn cute
    & damn nice.
    maybe i like to complain how much i love you more,
    but if it isnt this way.
    we wouldnt be here today.
    i love you and i love you more each day.
    if you stay with me,
    i promise today aint the happiest day,
    everyday would.
    baby girl




    1:39 AM

    i was reading kenny's sia blog.
    he's blog is damn interesting.

    'it is now illegal to use Bahasa Malaysia incorrectly, such as mixing it with English.'
    'After the first warning, "criminals" would be slapped with a whooping RM1,000 fine if found guilty . '

    Imagine if we're fine using english with a mix of chinese.
    'mummy i want eat chicken rice, ji wei.'
    FINE $500.

    I think everyone will be fine, okay la most of us.
    If that happens police should be located at kopitiams, hawker centers.
    Sure promotion.

    I think there's a rehab thing for it too.
    Omg.
    My freaking comp is taking 100000 years to dl 2 song and a game.
    I want to play E game b'for i sleep.
    Girlfriend is playing it already.

    Forget it,
    Im turning in.

    only you sweets.




    Tuesday, October 24, 2006, 7:21 PM

    I'm thinking,
    I'm thinking lots and lots.
    and I'm thinking if you're missing me
    as much as i'm missing you.




    Monday, October 23, 2006, 6:28 PM

    Yes, I seriously think
    I am.

    'bay look like me!' 'aaahahahahhaha'

    future famous LPY's egg.

    bay was nice enough to come school to crash lect.

    it's a Public Holiday eve & Im home.




    Sunday, October 22, 2006, 4:20 AM

    look at me the way you use to, when your words isnt the only assurance. when your eyes did most of the talking. because bay i miss those days. time gets lesser and im fighting for the feeling so hard. bay, i love you still, i miss you. and my heart bleeds each time i feel this lost. cause i dont know what you're feeling but i assure you i'll never feel a lil less from what i ever did love. and yes, you mean that much to me. smiles.




    Saturday, October 21, 2006, 10:51 PM

    soon,
    my liver will fail,
    my lungs will suffer,
    my entire life ruin.
    and the rules ive set for you know what
    will be true.

    ive become out of my mind
    because only in the early hours
    im sober.
    ive been sleeping lots of hours
    thanks to the endless supply of
    beer and liqour.

    hmmm.
    hmmmmmm.




    Thursday, October 19, 2006, 1:23 AM

    Jinx day.

    3 days of school is enough
    to know that u will do freaking badly.
    boring tut and lect.
    we sit 3 rows of 3.
    and
    then u'll realise the wonders of mp3s.
    (mostly or maybe all ipods)

    drastic change in my life.
    more boring entries coming up.

    girl,i miss just spending time with you.


    objectives v.s requirements.
    different la thy!




    Wednesday, October 18, 2006, 1:04 AM

    there's only one that its true in the whole introduction.
    i seriously do love bitching with link.

    today was
    one day like the old days.

    sigh




    Monday, October 16, 2006, 9:17 PM

    all those rubbish, i wont skip this sem.
    kiss your own ass kayne.
    when u have more guys in the clique
    and greedy girls that cant resist food.
    you skip half a lecture to eat.
    we dont have breaks on most days.
    ARGH!
    starting at 3 tml!
    not really 3 but fcuk the survey thats starts at 11.

    i wanted to post pictures of funny people.
    but but a bit bad la.

    driving,
    me and jilly went and get it done.
    nov it is. god bless.
    jilly auto la.

    this sem's gonna be real busy.
    driving proj proj ica ica.
    no more fun days.

    today, simple fun and much much love.
    it makes going home early worthwhile.
    smiles, nono. YEAH!




    1:57 AM

    flaws starts spitting.
    it takes little effort to mention
    but much effort to forget.
    i wish my feelings were easier to describe,
    so they wouldnt think im always down.
    i admire people who can watch tv & not get bored.
    stay at home one full day and feel happy.
    or sleep just like that,
    simply because i cant.
    staying at home is so hard,
    i have no idea why.
    when im bored everything goes wrong.
    and the only excuse i always use is 'im hungry'
    there's so much movement in my brain now,
    i wish it could stop so that i can sleep.
    my class is at 8, up by 6.

    the feeling of the damn bloody heart bleeding




    Sunday, October 15, 2006, 2:55 PM

    couldnt the clock move faster.
    im super bored.
    school tml.
    what a freaking fuck up day.




    2:49 AM

    every one has an adult and a lil baby in them.today my baby side approach me. a baby that needed someone to care and be dote on.
    too much drinking makes your head turn round and round.2 cans of beer with red bull makes my sushi come out. and not forgeting my dearest half evian of vodka. that kept me happy half of the time.

    anw. i came home. almost falling asleep.
    my mum arrive home later on giving me a kiss on my cheek,
    'girl ar, dont smoke or drink. '
    to only realise she drank.
    after which i couldnt sleep anymore.
    had a heart to heart talk with her.
    and then came this.
    'i open one bottle we drink okay, i rather you drink with me.'
    'no mama, i will puke.'
    what a great mum.
    she loves me i felt the love.
    all my sadness pour onto her.
    and she understands,
    she tells me i always have her and my sister.
    what a great day.
    she din go like ' you bloody lesbian'
    she listen and smile ' love yourself dear'
    tell me how much im missing.
    i havent been going home early.
    always reaching home to see her fast asleep or waiting for me.
    tonight was great.
    i love her, i gave her a pretty kiss.
    'DEAR DONT SMOKE LA'
    my mouth full of smoke smell.

    alright enough of my mama.
    i still cant sleep.
    goodness.
    did i say? i miss poh.
    orh she must be soundly asleep.

    today i woke up to find ang bao on my table.
    ohhh, 200 bucks enough to pay my bill
    and spend a day with sweets.
    i can call or msg now.
    yes finally.
    no cutting of allowance next week.
    debts can be paid off slowly.
    i feel happy.

    well, my fav and best pills are going to keep me asleep.
    night folks.




    Friday, October 13, 2006, 8:20 PM

    we both had less than a few hours of sleep.
    but we still carry out our long time plan.
    to visit..



    most impt.
    bay's fav.
    im e only one excited.
    pose.

    reptile garden.

    caught in the rain.
    and who say cannot smoke in the zoo.

    bite me.

    green.
    sibei kpo.
    her revenge ltr.
    damn cute.
    dream on kayne.
    zebras.
    we both were like.
    YES.
    lazy bum.
    my rhi-no-saw
    haha.
    i love you
    baybee.
    i refuse to take this.
    haha.

    mr wayne & poh.
    yes its his name.
    jap girls with converse shoes.
    lololololololol.
    manatee
    bay wait la.
    mr & mrs.
    look alike.
    christina's twin. she's so gonna kill me.
    lose la poh.
    where got unglam.
    elephants at work and play show.

    no 1 aunty.
    girl, the sign no feeding
    just beside you know anot?

    omg, my fav!

    E orang utan that refuse to give the damn stick up.
    stubborn.

    haha guess my first thinking.

    we were both flat dead. walking from 1 till 5. goodness never rest much eh. almost die. the lemon tea was like 2.90 per bottle crazy! orh la, baby brought water. 'where got people bring water bottle to zoo want'. okay fine, it did save me.

    kfc kfc and kfc.

    poh, thanks bay. without you this date would be nothing. without you this date wouldnt happen. and without you i wouldnt have a chance to have so much fun on an ordinary day like this. i love you. bay, next date. yeah!




    3:53 AM

    bay,im so in love with you.




    Thursday, October 12, 2006, 5:58 PM

    im watching E.
    and i guess i'll stay at home the whole day watching E.
    please tell me im outta my mind.
    cause E entertainment,
    is making me go ga-ga.

    where's my girlfriend.
    she's not picking up my calls.
    i have no idea where is she.
    and i wish i could tell her i miss her.

    oh.
    E entertainment.
    who would you want to be stranded with on an island.
    the winner is.
    clay aiken.
    Haha.
    what the the the F.
    i rather be with captain jack!
    i still cant get over it.
    clay aiken. omg.

    back to E.

    bay, imu.




    5:09 AM

    upload pics damn long.
    random few.
    they just dont give up.
    im weird.
    i talk to prawns.


    poh's
    she ate like all the prawns.

    the bus take one mil yrs to come.

    lol

    she likes to take ugly pics of me.
    haha

    club
    at the end of this date, i get a kiss.

    we were suppose to fly kite.
    but we were too late
    and we were hungry.
    thanks bay.




    Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:47 AM




    come come kiss kiss

    sushi sushi.




    Tuesday, October 10, 2006, 5:01 AM

    i really dont go morning class la.
    once again.
    im still making noise about my timetable.
    jia lat la.
    last sem i never did sit thru a whole accounts lecture
    cause it starts at 8am!
    i only go marketing at 10am for attendance i never reach at 9.
    okay i did once, twice?
    oh screw you.

    i can imagine the no of warning letters.

    ive been smoking on my bed.
    and now it stinks.
    the cigg smell is giving me a headache.
    even my air con smokes.
    the air that comes out smells like its puffing.


    bay-beeee, su-geeee, hun-eeeee.
    i dont see you, dont mean i dont love you, dont miss you.
    weee*




    Monday, October 09, 2006, 6:23 AM

    is it only me,
    i mean who dont put on weight when they are in love.
    right.
    or is it really only me.
    see,
    what else does love do to us.
    eh broke?

    game.
    its funny when you play beside each other& then you pee-eek.
    counting the no of times we almost aim each other
    and we refuse to release the z-x button.
    haha.
    & the irritating part is.
    'server terminated' just when you reach the goal.
    and you're like the 1st.
    and and you go like YEAH.
    after which ' CB '
    haha.

    time table out.
    if im not wrong.8am,2pm,9am,8am,9am.
    worst,all 8am & 9am
    are tuts.
    see the big fuck word.
    no skipping kayne.

    hey backwords name, i miss you. thou you look like a ball of irritant. =)




    Sunday, October 08, 2006, 4:30 AM

    Although i always state that my life is boring.
    looking at some, i think mine isnt that bad.
    interesting stories i've heard.
    now im starting to look at someone with plain disgust.
    dont you feel tired?
    its a pity that you cant be truthful.
    your life must be rather sad.
    im bloody dumb.
    anyway its good to know.
    you learn.

    well well.
    holidays are coming to an end.
    school starting.
    finger signs 'B'
    okay la i did much with poh during the holis.
    yeahyeah.
    im so glad i didnt waste it just like that.




    Saturday, October 07, 2006, 3:58 AM

    trees burning again.
    rather stay indoors.

    the whole day my brain has been cursing me.
    its confusing me.
    all the emotions in one day.

    tried something new today.
    toilet with computers.
    okay la. go try la.
    you will burst out in laughter.

    danger signs are my followers.
    emotions have the same expression.




    on the lucky seven, i kiss. hapi ani.




    Friday, October 06, 2006, 12:22 PM




    i feel outdated.
    but I found this interesting.





    7:34 AM

    HAHA just now was funny.
    poh and I played that game together.
    and we were like laughing on the phone.
    She made me remove my reflective pin wheel to play with her.
    Reasons:
    No1.
    She scared that those weapons will reflect back at her.
    No2.
    She bought the reflective thingy for me, so when it reflects -1 time.more tonz lost.

    sweets, if the game was saving you not aiming you i'll probably never reach the start.

    Tanning - 2 hrs time i have to be up & packing.




    Thursday, October 05, 2006, 7:48 PM

    iloveyou




    7:23 PM

    beeeeeeejayyyyyyy
    kisses.
    we 3 can club alone. haha
    mos.

    we look retarded.
    it looks like she kiss me.
    HAHA funny. look at aj.
    peek-a-boo




    Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 7:50 PM

    town by 8, haa the clock is ticking.
    im a lazy bitch.

    fast track till im rich again please.

    im glad 2 be spendg another day w you.




    3:35 AM

    you just have bad days once in awhile. when i was alone throughout the night.i thought about it.why mine like never ending.i lost my watch after which handphone then being broke then owing debts.
    life aint easy wo money. i cant get what i want since eating & smoking is already like so hard. on the brighter side im still living. finally i made an effort to keep my handphone well protected. thou it drop the second day.
    nightmares can affect people really badly, i feel dumb. but really scary eh. im starving and the first thing that im craving for is sushi. that want have to wait.
    im super piss with myself. dont know whats wrong with me. i just dont seem to make things better. everytime i feel like explaining something. i get all mess-ed up. argh.
    i'll blog sgain later.

    i never meant to make you feel the way you feel. it doesnt mean i dont feel anything. all i was trying to do was to make you smile. maybe i never had the ability to.




    Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 4:19 AM

    Nightmares

    Which hurts most, which would you choose? Not having the one you love or to have her but accepts that she's still in love with someone else. How do you define memories, how would you know if its still love or its just the memories. Everyone says actions speaks louder than words. Yes it does but actions can just be an act. Why not? If someone is good at acting. Why do we blindly fall into traps, knowing that aint ours. Yet having pure ignorance of the warnings and signs given.Why am i saying all this in the middle of the night.Some issues kept me up thinking. I've always mention how ignorance is bliss yet its hurtful. You can pretend all you want on the outer surface but you just cant lie forever. Sometimes you cant help it to have doubts.
    Human's mind and heart, its so hard to understand at times.
    My nightmares are scaring me.
    I just want to be in a very comfy comfort zone.




    3:13 AM

    I play a game which requires you to have skills and you must be very 'jian'. Haha. It's retarded yet cute and entertaining.
    Life's a bloody shit face when people around you dont get along.Cause you get caught in the middle & its not easy being the messenger.Friends..
    I enjoy life like that now, the past few days. Spending my care-free life with poh only. Meeting up close friends once in awhile. Everything is so simple and nice.
    Argh.
    Once in awhile you just feel like being alone. You come home at the end of the day. Isolating yourself from everything. Music playing to your feelings. So quiet so comfy. Lying down thinking about everything from right to wrong. Tonight is the night, I feel so home.

    Not forgeting, I enjoy being with you and only you. I love you sweets.




    Monday, October 02, 2006, 4:42 PM

    cab to supper

    shopping.
    the last couple of days, we did so much. rush all he plans we had. fun. smiles.
    poh has two weeks more till school starts. ive to continue to do some more planning.
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