play by years.
excuse me;

new IMG_4878

i've already told you, there's nothing much to hide.



tags;
    follow me on Twitter


    for my benefit;

    my tumblr;
    claire's;
    deb;
    juan;
    christina;
    poh;
    sophia;


    that point of time;
    Thursday, November 29, 2007, 3:06 AM

    365 days.

    like what i did.
    lets block.




    Saturday, November 24, 2007, 2:32 AM

    Remedy

    from project week, we move to test week.
    the only one thing i know i will pass is bis law.
    lets not talk about jap, b.finance and efma.

    maybe studying doesnt work for me.

    if only everyday was xmas,
    than candy canes can replace my existance.
    i'll run with a big red bag and dump
    all choco down your throat.

    those happy cells in it will replace me in that happy bar.

    and thank god its friday.




    Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 3:17 AM

    press the Alt.

    my comp turning me down.
    i just feel like hearing songs.
    it doesnt wanna work.

    i have a feeling in my throat.
    i can hardly describe.
    i feel like my feet has lost its touch on the ground.

    with my fingers, one by one.
    numb/ cold/ lifting its anger.

    none of my senses coordinating.

    the overload of images.
    that flashes.

    now, it leaves me blank.

    i just wanna get a stick and do well harming my health.
    the fact that i dont seem to know where that box lies.

    i thought i lost touch with those watery eyes.
    they seem to fought my fears.

    i have a test hours away.
    thou its a plan to cheat.

    i have no concentration.

    2 hours of unfulfil-ling sleep.
    and a night like this goes by wo my eye twitching.
    tired seems like a word that wouldnt be use, this night.

    i fondle with the phone.
    nothing seems to switch on the tone.
    its going flat for theres no purpose

    i, cant seem to tell you.
    where im heading.

    and all you can say.

    this is stupid, or maybe im that fool.

    if this a nightmare,
    can i please beg that i do not remember when im up.

    i want someone close yet not so.
    someone to tell im worth living.

    dont slap me in the face to wake me up,
    dont ask me why, how, what.
    dont tell me things i already know.

    just sit there, be by me.




    1:08 AM

    split personality.

    if i sit here at the age of last, 2, 3 yrs ago.
    i would, take a cigg and burn..
    i would, look out the window and wish i had the courage to jump.
    i would, bite my lips real hard and wait for the pain to kick.
    i would, take the iron and scar myself on the left.
    i would, try to punch anything i see.
    i would, open the window and smoke and
    fuck care that its my mums bday and she's awake.

    but today i sit here being 19.
    so what im going to do next.

    would be just to close my eyes.
    or laugh everything off.

    isnt tt cool.




    Saturday, November 17, 2007, 2:34 AM

    Hectic.

    the meaning of individual proj.
    or maybe why we give so much attention to individual prj.

    jeremy's definition.
    you dont do you die alone. group proj, die die together lo.

    staying in school for 3 days.
    one reaching 10pm, the crankiness.

    you just do your own style until
    xxx: this point must add leh.
    yyy: really meh (panicking)

    then it takes another 30minutes to add that bloody part in.

    outta this 3 days, only 7 hours of effort put in.
    3/4 the time was

    'must add this huh?'
    'how to add?'
    'put where?? why must put?'
    'like that can not?'
    'help me think eh!!'

    Im glad its over.

    Still, fucking 4 ica(test) next week.

    Life.

    ive come to terms with the fact that,
    i cant be at 3 places at one time.


    just you me and that simple hut.




    Monday, November 12, 2007, 1:26 AM


    HAPPY 21ST SHERYLDINE!!!!!


    its so hard to imagine isnt it,
    we were young, sharing one small room.
    Now i glance pass you,
    realising ive seen you for 19th yrs of my life.
    you being my one and only,
    and obviously the best sister have grown so much.
    time passes so fast,
    i still remember the days where you squeeze that grape into my mouth
    cause i was starving.
    how you protect me
    when im about to get whack for breaking the vase or raining in the rain.
    it's so funny.
    still, thank you.
    thank you very much.
    really, thank you.

    hey dear sis, happy 21st.
    i love you, you're the greatest gift mum has ever given me and will always be

    21st gift.

    Au Jardin



    i still do not like oyster.
    dont call me stupid or GTT.
    i just dont like it.
    the food is really really good, great.



    i ate the pork rack, haha.
    and obviously i would take the warm choc cake.

    dont you ever dare try the last 2.
    she played a game with me.

    s : mei, we play a game la. the smelly to the smelliest.
    so then me a Gong Toot Toot
    me : okay
    (close my eyes)

    you know what my bugger sister did.
    she put all 3 on the bisc and let me smell.
    i almost puke.
    the orange one smells like a garbage for 15 yrs
    and the other smells like pee cum shit cum mense.
    you tell me la.

    oh and then another game.

    s: i pay you 10 bucks you eat all 3.
    me: okay!

    btw, the smell stayed in my mouth.
    the taste in my throat for dunno how long.
    i almost puke my entire dinner.

    BITCH!


    Here's the sweet heart. (i know i look like a lard. BTW hair - cutted!!!)

    Her 21st suite.

    the view's superb.beside the gym had those m&ms hehe. which i rush to.
    pls do not tell me i look like my dad.
    anyway here's the family haha.

    once again, hbdae sis. c=




    Saturday, November 10, 2007, 2:04 AM

    FINE OKAY FINE

    you dont have to, i know you wouldnt anyway.
    it would be nice if you did
    then again
    why did i even think you would.
    you're not obligated to.

    i feel like slapping myself.
    no i dont have to, you just slap it in my face!

    im so off this.




    Friday, November 09, 2007, 1:38 AM

    2 become one!
    fat lump, when you're so hyper, hairy makes your day wulala.
    your problem solved. see, why waste money on rubber bands? just slot it in.
    my romantice, not so hyper days.
    'marry me?' haha.
    like fat lard lo, you know how always i bluff myself so fat and handsome.
    this picture clearly shows and will remind me, 'kayne you very fat eh'
    now i know why claire took it.

    i love her, i do. beautiful!

    muffin learns high-5

    see all that fur! see how she's enjoying the wind.

    hahaha.


    im a not so happy girl cause tonight i sleep alone.

    hello xxxxx,
    thank you.
    you made this 3 days wonderful.
    love, xxxxx.




    Monday, November 05, 2007, 4:44 PM

    traffic light;

    you just keep changing.
    i lost track,
    so did you.

    i dont like this path.

    fu.




    1:34 AM

    I have a red nail;

    from fate,
    i am to you are,
    hope,
    to love,
    to slamming doors,
    distrust,
    hurt,
    pain,
    hate,
    silence,
    friends,
    trying harder,
    tried,

    till, none.

    my wipers trying,
    the raindrops aint helping.

    we all try,
    but its not just up to us.

    you just look at me,
    like im a fool.
    you think its worth nothing,
    you think im outta my mind.

    everyone thinks im spinning circles.

    im just trying to be a human.
    and being a human who mix around with humans,
    im just being a friend.

    i know im a bitch,
    i know i say things wo censoring the bad stuff,
    i know i joke til it hurts,
    i know i go outta hand.

    and for that im really sorry.

    boom.




    Friday, November 02, 2007, 2:08 AM

    give me good days, will you?
    tt day i was happy.
    tt day at 3 am i took the boys out for a fattening dinner at boon tong kee (watever the spelling)
    not forgetting my shared rice with link, fuck it if im fat.
    and our ne project leads us to the war memorial, with the 'are we suppose to smile or be sad?' in the end if its a picture you do smile right.
    my halloween

    sis's

    mum's

    im not having good days,
    just like the old sem,
    im skipping classes.
    wasting money on petrol thinking it last more than 2 days.
    thinking my brain cells wont burn thinking a qn over and over again.
    i dont like the mirror,
    i dont wanna wake up tml,
    and i fucking hate my life now.

    you know what,
    its really not about you or whover or you or you.
    its just me,
    maybe my mense coming.
    maybe i am too fucked-up for you?

    i cant, i just cant okay, i fucking cant.
    then just fucking tell me what works cause i dont know any!




    _uanchor=1; _ufsc=false; _usample = 10; urchinTracker(); _uff=0;